comment 1

Smug parenting

I read some daddy blog today about shouting. He said he never shouts at his kids because it isn’t constructive.
Right.
Do you know anyone who does think shouting is constructive? No. You do not. No one shouts at their kids because they think it’s bloody constructive. They shout at their kids because they are stressed/ at their wits end/ frustrated/ tired/ angry/ losing their minds.
This is normal.
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re screaming at your kids constantly you might want to stop a sec and think about what else is going on in your life. That’s not good, right?
But for the majority of us, it’s an occasional outburst. We’re not Mary Poppins. We’re not always cheerful and endlessly patient. And quite frankly, I’m always pretty suspicious of anyone who claims to never, ever lose their temper. Really? Not buying it.
Kids press buttons and they do it gleefully. Sometimes they hit the wrong button. We shout, we feel shit about it, we make amends and we move on. We also make insane promises to ourselves not to yell again, but we’re missing the point there – we yell because we’ve lost it.
I’m over smug parents. The I never raise my voice and my house is immaculate and calm brigade.
I’m not perfect. I’m nowhere near, but I love my kids and I do my best. And when I fuck up, I apologise. We talk about it. And you know what? My kids are awesome at talking about their feelings. They learned that from me…or so I like to think. Gotta have silver lining, right?

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